I was invited to take part in a Q&A with the Channel 4 Employee Resource Group, 4Women earlier this week. They are doing some work on childlessness and, alongside Jody Day (founder of Gateway Women) asked if I’d like to take part and talk about my experience and perspective as a black childless woman. I feel humbled and honoured to have been given the opportunity to have been a part of this call earlier today.
To quote Jody, “fertility problems only account for 10% of the 1 in 5 (soon rising to 1 in 3) women who find themselves childless at midlife – 10% are childfree by choice and a whopping 80% are childless by circumstance with the biggest ‘circumstance’. I’ve come across from my 10 years of research and support in this area is not having a willing and suitable partner to try for children with (and that includes queer women too). And the stigma that attaches to unpartnered childless women is even greater in our patriarchal culture; one only has to consider that the shaming stereotype of the ‘crazy cat lady’ is considered a harmless bit of fun by most to see this in action.”
The invisible black woman
At this session I spoke about my childless journey alongside the double disenfranchisement of being a black woman and also the Asian women’s experience in the infertility/childless space. I reflected on the disparities experienced in the healthcare system with regards to;
- black women being see as hyperfertilie,
- black women being seen as not having fertility issues when there are studies that show that black women are 2-3 times more likely to have fertility issues as white women,
- black women being 2 times more likely to suffer with fibroids and at higher rates as well as from an earlier age as our white counterparts,
- black women being 50% less likely to being diagnosed with Endometriosis,
- Black women being seen to have a higher tolerance to pain
- let along the stories of the black women who enter fertility clinics and ask “where are the black babies?” whilst looking at the wall full of baby pictures.
I spoke about my historical truth that fertility was seen as a white woman’s problem to cure and a black woman’s problem to curtail.
A Big Thank You
What an experience and thank C4 for this opportunity to be a part of this conversation. They have taken the initiative to bravely open up this space after getting behind one of their CNBC staff who asked C4 to listen to her story, and brining her suggestion to have our infertility stories be heard, to life. I don’t underestimate how much it takes for someone to speak up in their organisation and be seen in such a way. It was also heart-warming to see how many people turned up to this session. It really showed how important this topic is and how vital such spaces are for both the childless staff within organisations and also for our colleagues who are working alongside this invisible truth.
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