July 26th: Our Story Turns Another Page
Dreaming of a Life Unlived turned another year older. My baby is now 8 and she’s fierce, full of feeling, and ever so slightly dramatic (just like me, really). If you’d told me all those years ago, when I was staring at a blinking cursor and wondering if anyone would care about my and other women’s stories of childlessness, not parenthood, not IVF success, not bouncing back “miracles” I’d have quietly shaken my head in doubt. But here we are. With every year that passes, this book proves again why it needed to be written, and why she still matters.
Why I Wrote It: Making the Invisible Visible
The idea for Dreaming of a Life Unlived didn’t hit me like a lightning bolt. It grew slowly, almost quietly seeded during my time on the Gateway Women Plan B mentorship programme. Sitting with other women who were navigating life without children, I realised something that wouldn’t let me go: women like me weren’t being listened to. Our stories weren’t being told, and when they were, they were rarely held by those who cared to listen.
At the time, I was deep in my own grief not just for the children I didn’t have, but for the future I’d imagined. For the conversations I could no longer join. For the rooms, family, friends, even workspaces, that I was quietly slipping out of because I didn’t feel I belonged anymore. So, I wrote the book I needed. A book that could give us our voices back. And in the process, I found something I hadn’t expected I wasn’t as alone as I thought.
The Ripple Effect: Stories That Speak Back
Since its release, Dreaming of a Life Unlived has reached thousands of people—some public, some private. But all heartfelt. I’ve received messages like:
“This book gave me permission to grieve. Until now, I didn’t know I was allowed.”
— Tina, Birmingham
“I read your words with tears in my eyes and my hand over my heart. I didn’t know someone else could describe what I’ve been silently carrying.”
— Anita, London
“I bought this for my sister-in-law and it completely changed how we talk about her experience.”
— Kwaku, Ghanaian-British man trying to be a better ally
This is what I mean when I say Dreaming of a Life Unlived isn’t just a book, it’s a mirror, a healing balm, a protest, and a gentle hand on someone’s back saying: you belong.
Belonging, Reclaimed
Part of the work of this book has been to reshape how we think about belonging. If you’ve ever felt like the “plus one with no little one,” the single chair at the family BBQ, the overlooked colleague when it comes to “family-friendly” policy, you’ll know what I mean.
Childlessness can exile you, in big and small ways. My work and this book is about breaking that exile. Reclaiming space. Saying that we deserve compassion, inclusion, and joy just as much as anyone else.
Media Themes: From Punchline to Power
In the last year, it’s been heartening (and let’s be honest, a bit outrageous) to see the childless conversation make headlines not all good, but all necessary.
Take the Financial Times piece “Beware the March of the Childless Voter”. It pointed out that childless adults now represent a significant and growing political demographic. We are voters, professionals, carers, community builders. And yet, policies from housing to healthcare rarely consider our realities. That invisibility isn’t just emotional; it’s structural.
Then came the brilliantly titled “Childless Cat Ladies Fight a Tide of Pronatalism”. Sounds funny until you realise it’s not. The article explored how women without children (by choice or not) are still publicly shamed, dismissed, or reduced to tropes. You’ve seen it: Kamala Harris being mocked for being “not a real woman,” or the constant barrage of headlines about regret, spinsterhood, and who will take care of us when we’re old.
But here’s what these articles also capture: resistance. Women speaking back. Women owning their stories. And books like Dreaming of a Life Unlived playing a part in that wider chorus of “enough.”
Workplaces Still Have Work to Do
This birthday also has me reflecting on the corporate space because women are still navigating awkward maternity leave and baby talk conversations. You’d think in 2025 we’d have moved on, but the workplace is still learning how to value employees outside of parenthood status. What we need is a shift from parental perks to people-first policies. From assumptions to curiosity. From silence to language that holds us all. That’s part of what I’ve been working on with organisations: helping organisations see the childless employee not as an anomaly but as part of the human fabric.
A Little Birthday Joy
So no, I won’t be throwing a kids’ party for this book (unless someone wants to bake me a uterus-shaped cake? – oh now that would be something worth seeing), but I will be raising a toast to:
- The people who read this book and wept
- The ones who passed it on quietly to a friend
- The workplaces starting to change
- The allies showing up with humility
- The childless folks finding their voice, maybe for the first time
And to you, if you’re reading this and still unsure where you belong, you do. You always have.
Want to gift it to yourself or someone navigating life without children?
📘 Buy on Amazon UK
📘 Buy on Blurb
One Final Reflection
We live in a world that glorifies motherhood and marginalises those without children. But we are not marginal. We are whole. We are valid. And we are worthy of stories that reflect our experience in all its richness.
This book may have been born on 26 July 2017, but the journey it represents is ongoing. Thank you for walking alongside me.
Let’s keep dreaming not just of the life we thought we’d have, but of the one we’re living, crafting, and claiming… together.
Peace & Joy
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