It’s been a while since I last posted and, in some ways’, I feel like I’ve been experiencing writer’s block. In reality I think I’ve just lacked a bit of inspiration coupled with ‘being busy with life’. A minor accident yesterday has relegated me to resting today so I thought that I would take this opportunity to have the space to write.

At the beginning of February, I sat down to work on my touchstone word for 2021. I had planned to do this on the 1^st January but yep you guessed it, I was busy with life. Anyway, I took some time out to work on it and as I worked through the process – a step by step guide of working through words, their meanings etc. – I stopped on the word brave. I stopped on this word because I noticed the emotion that was evoked when I wrote ‘brave’. I cannot explain why I felt like crying (tears are rolling down my cheeks as I think about it); it may have been because I realised the strength and power in those 5 letters that suddenly reminded me of what I have been through along with the realisation of who I have become. Whatever the reason I just knew that ‘Brave’ is my word for 2021.

The meaning for brave via Google =

• Ready to face and endure danger or pain; showing courage.
• having or showing mental or moral strength to face danger, fear, or difficulty: having or showing courage 
• Courageous, dauntless, perhaps a little bit daring, a person who is brave faces dangerous or difficult situations with courage. The adjective brave can be used to describe anyone or anything that displays courage…
• Endure or face (unpleasant conditions or behaviour) without showing fear.
• A North American Indian warrior – I love this one especially as my name means warrior

I guess the inspiration to write this blog came from watching an interview with Brene Brown and Oprah Winfrey from 2013 titled “Perfectionism is a 20-ton shield”. Brene pretty much says that perfectionism is a way of avoiding criticism, blame and ridicule. “It’s the 20-tn shield that we carry around hoping that it will keep us from being hurt” but all it does is it keeps us for being seen. We are so driven by “what will people think?” and spend our energy in wanting to ‘do the right thing’, ‘say the right thing’ (so we don’t offend anyone or so that they won’t be upset with us), being who we think we should be blah, blah, blah…. that we, in many respects, do not know who we are. I know for me that I spent many years struggling, feeling lost in an identity created for me from my cultural upbringing whilst being (different) in a system I was trying to fit into, a system that could not, cannot, see me for who I am. I became scared of being me and equally afraid to let myself be seen. I felt misunderstood, lost and confused! It took some time, and a lot of personal work, to realise that I know and like who I am, I was just too afraid to be her, to let her be seen. During the interview Brene said that “you can’t do anything brave if you are wearing the straight jacket of what will people think” so here I am ready to walk my BRAVE and authentic self.  Watch this space and let’s see what my next chapter in life holds….