So I am sitting in a room (with a small group of people) when one of the ladies excitedly asks me “if I have heard her news?”. I barely had a chance to reply when she quickly announced that ‘she is going to be a grandmother’. I blinked as she continued to fill me in on how excited she is along with all that this new status will entail. Now I am not one to begrudge anyone anything but COME ON!!! (can you imagine my pained expression?) We barely speak as it is so I could not fathom why she would think that I would be interested in hearing her news in all its glory??? It was all too much to bear and I had to excuse myself and leave the room.
It is hard enough to be around your loved ones whilst trying to express some sort of joy for their news when on that particular day you don’t really to. To be honest its not always that hard but there are times I could happily hide away and avoid the feelings that my grief can bring. So I try and protect myself from those situations, especially with regards to people who I am not that close to, where I actually do not have to be a a part of their joy when they have not taken the time to consider my pain.
one of the hardest things about not having children is hearing other women gloat about their children and grandchildren. I realise it is only natural to talk about this, but it is a bit tactless to do it in front of women who want children but dont have them.
Hi Michelle I completely agree and its something that further adds to our feelings of exclusion, not belonging and being invisible in this world which further silences us as childless women. It can all become very messy!!!