So I have received news of another pregnancy. I remember a time when I would have been happy to hear such news but now I just feel numb. Its such a hard reality for me that there are times that I really cannot identify with what I am feeling. So I just cry and today it feels hard not to.

When I think about this recent news I can’t help but ask why could this not have been me? Today for the first time I really wished it was me sharing my joy with my friends, sharing the excitement of what is to come, sharing this special moment with my husband…. and now I am here wondering why could this not have been me?