I saw Jada Pinkett Smith’s latest Red Table topic talk today with Kristin Davis from Sex and the City – I just love both these shows. The title ‘Should White People Adopt Black Kids?‘ did intrigue me as it’s something that I’ve questioned myself over the years. As a black women and facilitator for the Gateway Women Reignite weekend workshops I have come across black couples who have been rejected from being adoptive parents so I do get angry when I hear that (or even see) white women have adopted black children. Ok yes I get the ‘its about love’ aspect of this argument but is love enough when the black child is being subjected to racism and the white parent can’t help them, or the white parent doesn’t get it so plays it down because their white privilege is preventing them from truing seeing what is right in front of them.
I saw Jada Pinkett Smith’s latest Red Table topic talk today with Kristin Davis from Sex and the City – I just love both these shows. The title ‘Should White People Adopt Black Kids?’ did intrigue me as it’s something that I’ve questioned over the years.
As a black women and facilitator for the Gateway Women Reignite weekend workshops I have come across black women/ couples who have been rejected from being adoptive parents so I do get annoyed when I hear that (or even see) a white woman (or couple) have adopted a black child. Ok yes I get the ‘its about love’ aspect of this argument but is love enough? What happens when the black child is being subjected to racism and the white parent can’t help them, or the white parent doesn’t get it so plays it (the racism) down because their white privilege is preventing them from truly seeing what is right in front of them.
I guess my question is do white people really understand the complexities of bringing up a black child? Do they get what is involved? Will they disregard that childs’ culture?
Listening to the interview it was good to hear Kristin say that as a white person she doesn’t understand what a black child culturally needs or experiences. White people can only look into our lives (as black people) but their white privilege can (at times) prevent them from seeing the reality of that child is experience. White privilege can make people say “we don’t see colour” which can be such an undermining statement in itself. For me being black is part of my beauty that is disregarded if you chose to not see me for who I am. White privilege can silence my experience.
This is a hot topic that has many layers and after listening to the Red Table conversation I realised there is a layer to this that I had not experienced before. One of my concerns is that the black children being adopted will, at some point, loose their identify because they are being or have been brought up in an all white environment. From the conversation I now realise that there are white people who see that it’s not just about love (although it’s the start) it’s about embracing all who that child is and knowing their own (cultural) limitations leading them to putting in place the support systems for their black children to also know who they are too.
Here are some other links on this topic…
Red Table Talk: Ellen Pompeo Opens Up About Raising Biracial Children
The Realities of Raising a Kid of a Different Race – Time Magazine
5 Things Adoptive Parents Need To Know About Growing Up Black
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