I was invited to a christening party today, by a friend who was celebrating his first grandson. What a special time in his life. As I watched my friend proudly stand up and talk his grandson escaped his mothers arms to explore his surroundings and all I could do was watch yet another experience that my husband and I will never have as I fought back my tears. Thankfully my husband realised what was happening for me and briskly took me for a walk.
During our walk we talked and I think that this was the first time that I asked him if he feels the pain too. It did give me comfort to hear that he does but at the same time it is a pain that I wish that he did not have to share. As we talked we questioned if we would make good parents, we wondered what our children would have looked like and we questioned how different we would have been as parents from our own parents. As we talked I realised that these were questions that we didn’t ask ourselves when we were trying to conceive our baby.
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